February: the aura of romance, the month of love.  Celebrate healthy relationships with Healer and Spiritual Teacher, Heather Hans, as she gives people the practical nuts and bolts for thriving in a healthy relationship.

Boulder, CO (PRWEB) February 19, 2013 –  Now that you’ve been winded and dined, and the alluring desire and sensuality of Saint Valentine’s holiday has passed, certified law of attraction practitioner Heather Hans shares her take on how to create and maintain healthy relationships that last all year long.

Hans, a spiritual healer, believes that love is the essence of a relationship, while boundaries are the form that hold the relationship together and make it sustainable.

She’s shared ten tips for people to consider when entering a new relationship this Valentine’s Day season:

  1. Reveal a little of yourself at a time and move step by step into intimacy.  A seed needs patience and nurturing to sprout.  Instant intimacy is a red flag and a sign of disregarded boundaries.  Too much distance is also a boundary violation at the other end of the spectrum and leaves one feeling abandoned or neglected.
  2. Use “I” statements.  Describe how things impact you and make clear your expectations, rather than pointing your finger in blame.  Blame leads to defensiveness and what goes around comes around, so you shoot yourself in the foot when you blame someone.
  3. Maintain your values despite fear of criticism.  If your values are not valued by a potential love interest, they are not the right person for you.
  4. Notice if the other person’s boundaries are inappropriate.  These observations are the clues that tell you if this relationship will be healthy or not.
  5. Don’t take advantage of someone’s generosity if you are not interested.  You don’t want to violate the other person’s boundaries, even if they don’t stand up for themself.
  6. Don’t give too much for the purpose of getting someone to like you.  Over-giving is a recipe for codependency and dysfunction.
  7. Know who you are and what you want.  Trust your instincts and decisions about a person or situation.
  8. Don’t ever try to control how another person thinks, believes, feels or acts.  If you don’t like it, leave, but it is inappropriate for you to try to control them.
  9. Remember that partners are not mind readers.  Clearly communicate your wants and needs.
  10. Honor your own personal boundaries with yourself.  Live in balance and honesty so you are not tempted to abuse your body.  Speak well of yourself.  Make sure you go for your dreams whether in a relationship or not!

Heather Hans, LCSW, MSW, MBA, CPIC, is a Visionary, Healer & Teacher, and the author of The Heart of Self-Love: How to Radiate with ConfidenceIt is Heather's firm belief that loving oneself is necessary to have fulfilling relationships and a successful life. To have Heather's inspiration delivered directly to your inbox sign up for her Newsletter (your email will NEVER be shared).