During Women of Achievement Month, Psychotherapist Heather Hans is offering help for women looking for success in the World of Love.

According to Hans, a woman can only achieve extraordinary love when she embraces her anger and uses it to become more conscious. Hans knows what makes a passionate, healthy, and soulful relationship with self, another, and the Divine.

“Just as when our body falls ill, anger is a wake-up call to make a change,” said Hans, who says that women can use their anger to reach true love. “Kind, accommodating, and generous women are often the most plagued by anger. Because they identify as sweet do-gooders, many of them find their anger unacceptable, and so they bury it, avoid it, feel shameful about it, and do whatever they can to rid themselves of it.”

In doing so, they miss the precious gift that their anger is trying to give them, and they become stuck in a cycle of exhaustion, despair, and low self-esteem. The next time you feel angry, take time to discover its root.

Each path is unique, although the following messages are some of the most common gifts that anger brings:

  1.  It is time to set healthier boundaries. The less you accommodate others and the more you tend to yourself, the happier and healthier everyone will be.
  2. Let love in. Anger is a way to keep love out. Givers are the most susceptible to anger, as they often feel unworthy of love.
  3. Have faith that the Divine is on your side. Anger often means that we are stuck in a dysfunctional pattern and it is time to have faith and step into new territory.
  4. Releasing your victim mentality and owning your power will set you free. You consciously and subconsciously create your life. Learning to let go of what you cannot change, and changing what you can is the key.
  5. Your angry feelings need to be expressed constructively so you can get to the root of them. You can to do this by writing a letter or writing in your journal, speaking to someone using a level-head and “I” statements, exercising, or getting drunk and punching a hole in the wall (just making sure you’re awake).

Heather Hans, LCSW, MSW, MBA, CPIC, is a Visionary, Healer & Teacher, and the author of The Heart of Self-Love: How to Radiate with ConfidenceIt is Heather's firm belief that loving oneself is necessary to have fulfilling relationships and a successful life. To have Heather's inspiration delivered directly to your inbox sign up for her Newsletter (your email will NEVER be shared).