As a child, your survival depended on those around you - your caregivers - so you had to adapt to their behavior in order to survive.
As an adult, your survival depends on YOU.
Upholding boundaries helps you not only survive, but THRIVE.
When your boundaries are clear, you don’t take in people and problems that don’t belong to you.
You share your time and energy only with select people and causes.
One way to develop boundaries is to create a, “Safe Space.”
I’ll be your guide.
Make sure that you are as comfortable as you can be and that you can relax your body completely.
Feel the weight underneath you, knowing that it is more than strong enough to carry you and support you and that you can totally sink into it.
Now, close your eyes and envision a place you love. This place can be real or imagined.
Imagine what this place looks like. What if feels like to be inside of it. What smells are there? Whatever your favorite textures are, you are feeling them, and no need to try too hard, whatever comes in your first stream of consciousness, go with that. How do you feel in this place? What are the visuals that you’re seeing? What are the textures that you’re feeling? What are the sounds that you’re hearing? And imagine your favorite flavors and drinks. Whatever is most soothing and comforting to you. What do those taste like?
Now pause and allow yourself to bask in the support that surrounds you, knowing that you don’t need to put any effort into being supported here, the same way you don’t put any conscious effort into taking an inhale of the breath that sustains your life.
You are completely safe here. You can rest into the support and the experience of unconditional love for you.
If, at any time, you need extra support, it shows up instantly for you in whatever form you need.
When you sense a dark cloud around you, it could be people or circumstances that cause you stress, you hear a voice calling your name, saying, “I know you can feel that and it doesn’t belong to you. You are safe here!”
Heather Hans, LCSW, MSW, MBA, CPIC, is a Visionary, Healer & Teacher, and the author of The Heart of Self-Love: How to Radiate with Confidence. It is Heather's firm belief that loving oneself is necessary to have fulfilling relationships and a successful life. Join Heather’s 30-Day confidence challenge at avanoo.com