Do these defeatist words sound familiar to you?


Things are always gonna end up badly.

I’m always gonna be broke.

People always end up disappointing me.

I’m always gonna live here.

I’m always gonna struggle with this habit.

It’s always gonna be one health problem after another.

It always seems I cant win!


The defeatist has a lot to teach us.

First, thinking in absolutes like always and never makes you depressed! It limits your perspective and makes you less flexible and able to adapt.

Another thing is that your inner defeatist is worthy of love! They probably have good reasons for feeling the way they do, but if you would like to feel happier you have to realize that the inner defeatist never finds magic because he or she doesn’t believe in it! That’s true for most things in life. Those who believe, receive!

It’s hard and unrewarding work focusing on trouble 24/7! Maybe it’s time to thank your inner defeatist for their service and let them retire. A big world awaits you!



Heather Hans, LCSW, MSW, MBA, CPIC, is a Visionary, Healer & Teacher, and the author of The Heart of Self-Love: How to Radiate with ConfidenceIt is Heather's firm belief that loving oneself is necessary to have fulfilling relationships and a successful life.  Join Heather’s 30-Day confidence challenge at