Attraction brings people together in work, community, and love.

Boundaries keep them together.

Boundaries are what allow games to be played, roles to be fulfilled, and love to be had.

Likewise, relationships crumble when boundaries are violated.

Appropriate boundaries are a cornerstone to mental health. The most important boundaries you will ever set are the ones you set for yourself.

The first boundary you must establish is the people you let into your life, and how closely you let them in.

In this very small circle, are the people you trust completely and who have your back no matter what. Most people are lucky if they have one or two people in this circle.

The next circle out represents your closest friends and family. They are helpful. They are there for you.

The third circle represents people that you love and care about but people who are not totally trustworthy. Not because they’re malicious or trying to harm you but because they may have some of their own unresolved issues or ignorance that prevents them from being someone you trust completely.

People in the fourth circle are not trustworthy. They are not on stable ground; they drain your energy, and life becomes chaotic when you let them in.

Finally, the people in the fifth circle are ones who cause harm, have ill intentions, and vibrate at low-level emotions, such as hate, jealousy, and resentment.

People need to earn your trust. The fact that they have good intentions is not always enough. They need to be coming from a place of wholeness, groundedness, and their own self-love before they can be show up and love you.

Relationships are necessary yet trust is earned over time.

Your instincts about people are correct. Listen to your inner guidance.

Your boundaries determine your well-being. Choose the people in your life wisely and without apology!



Heather Hans, LCSW, MSW, MBA, CPIC, is a Visionary, Healer & Teacher, and the author of The Heart of Self-Love: How to Radiate with ConfidenceIt is Heather's firm belief that loving oneself is necessary to have fulfilling relationships and a successful life.  Join Heather’s 30-Day confidence challenge at