What creates good relationships that leads to good sex?
Emotional attunement between partners.
When your loved one is consistently responsive to you, it creates safety and trust.
When they’re not responsive, it creates anxiety and it limits your growth as a couple and as an individual.
Bonding is not about speed or charm.
The two main things to look for in a potential mate are empathy and sincerity.
Empathic people don’t want to rush you or charm you. These are both self-serving tactics, which is the opposite of empathy.
They want your well being above all. The same way an attuned mother wants her child’s well being, first and foremost. Bonding is built over time and sex gets better as you become more attuned to each other.
Some clues to look for are affection, ability to soothe you, concern for your feelings, appreciation of you exactly as you are, loyalty, confidence, and a sense of humor.
If you don’t see these qualities right away, don’t you worry, another train is coming!
Heather Hans, LCSW, MSW, MBA, CPIC, is a Visionary, Healer & Teacher, and the author of The Heart of Self-Love: How to Radiate with Confidence. It is Heather's firm belief that loving oneself is necessary to have fulfilling relationships and a successful life. Join Heather’s 30-Day confidence challenge at avanoo.com