Heather Hans

Today is Valentine's Day, and, today, on this day of love I want to know, what does love mean to you?

What is true love?

A lot of people think this just means romantic love, especially on Valentine's Day, but romantic love is just one small piece of true love. Love is really the essence of life.  You can call it God, or you can call it life.  Love is the creator. Love is the healer. Love is the most powerful force of all. So when you look at your life and you search for true love in the form of appreciation, acceptance, loving another, or to be loved by another, you are seeking the essence of life, the essence of why you’re here.

What you desire already exists.

Love isn’t lost, love can’t be broken, so to find true love is really not accurate, because true love already exists.  We don’t need to find true love. We need to break the barriers that prevent us from having true love from experiencing our love and the exchange of love that happens in this life. Believe it or not one of the greatest barriers is not letting love in.

Love is a flow.  It flows in and out.  It’s not something you put in a box and it just stays there.  Love is an energy form.  You can’t see it, taste it, touch it, or smell it. You experience it as an energy. As it flows in and out, you experience more of it.  And, when you stop it from flowing in or out, you experience less of it.  Many people who want to find true love are actually not letting love into their life.

Valentine's Day 2014

Letting love in can be as simple as walking outside in the morning and looking up at the sky, looking at life around you, and getting into your senses. Smelling the air, allowing love and life to come into your body. To give love can be as simple as looking someone in the eyes, smiling at someone, or touching someone. Every time we let love in and let love out we are expanding our capacity to love. The greater your experience of love in your everyday life, the greater your chances of finding a romantic partner, if you’re searching for true love in that form.

You may find that your true love is a career. You may find it’s an animal or a child.  There is no hierarchy when it comes to love.  Love is love is love is love. When you are living in love in every single thing that you do, you become a more loving person and you become a bigger magnet for love.  When you heal your wounds, and we all have wounds, you become more whole, and to become more whole means to become more loving and more love filled.

The way we grow our love is through that process of pain, healing, and then rebirth in love and wholeness.  So remember that your pain is here to serve you and bring you closer to true love, if you allow it.

True love is yours, it’s here, it already exists, and it’s a moment to moment practice.


Heather Hans, LCSW, MSW, MBA, CPIC, is a Visionary, Healer & Teacher, and the author of The Heart of Self-Love: How to Radiate with ConfidenceIt is Heather's firm belief that loving oneself is necessary to have fulfilling relationships and a successful life.