You Are Not Your Troubles ThumbnailYour challenges are not you.

Your biggest difficulties are not you.

Your disappointments are not you.

Your patterns aren’t you.

Your addictions are not you.

Your relationship history isn't you.

Your fears are not you.

Your insecurities are not you.

Your disease is not you.

Your troubles are natural responses to the trauma and emotional neglect you’ve suffered.

YOU are NOT damaged! YOU are NOT dysfunctional! You simply have a stored bodily memory that needs to be released.

Just like cancer invades a body and can be healed, so, too, can your relationship pattern be cleared from your body.

It's a block, a clog, and it's not a part of you any more than a clump of hair clogging a drain is a part of that drain. It just needs to be healed.

Guilt and shame produce endorphins in the body causing it to stay in the loop of toxic relationships.

Trauma and neglect cause the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system to be simultaneously activated, meaning it causes you to be both anxious and depressed at the same time.

When you constantly question yourself and try to work harder & harder in your relationships, it’s a symptom of the fight or flight response loop being activated.

Don't lose hope!

As sensations come up in your body that make you want to leave it, practice accepting them. You must slow way down when doing this core work. The same way that a baby needs it's caretaker to slow down and be present and nurturing to that baby.

Now, imagine yourself in a protective membrane - safe, adored, secure.



Heather Hans, LCSW, MSW, MBA, CPIC, is a Visionary, Healer & Teacher, and the author of The Heart of Self-Love: How to Radiate with ConfidenceIt is Heather's firm belief that loving oneself is necessary to have fulfilling relationships and a successful life.  Join Heather’s 30-Day confidence challenge at